Not Me Monday

Not Me Mondays were started by MckMama, and she has a great one today.  Well, actually today her post is a Not Me My Husband Monday...and it's hilarious!

Here's mine...When I saw this:

 

I did not grab my camera before getting a paper towel and letting John wipe his face clean.  When realizing it was ketchup instead of blood, I did not laugh hysterically at my son's expense.

Just so you know, John was not harmed in this instance.  After I took the pictures, I DID wipe his face clean and rinse his eye with cool water.  This all happened because John decided to fold a ketchup packet in half and squeeze it.

Not Me Monday

Do you ever have "mommy guilt"?  Well, this is the place to come clean.  Learn more about "not me" Mondays from MckMama.

On Friday, after dropping off John at preschool, Emma and I went to church to get some work done before the weekend.  While there, I did not let her eat a sucker, animal crackers, and part of a chocolate donut just to keep her from hanging on me for a short while.  When it was time to leave and Emma was screaming hysterically, I did not push her into her car seat with my elbow while strapping her in.  Surely, I would calm Emma down first and then pick up John from preschool.

After arriving home with a sleeping Emma (FINALLY!) and then having her wake up again, I did not give her a dose of ibprofen to help calm her down.  I didn't even know that she's sick, so I wouldn't give her medicine.  And I always remember to put the medicine out of the children's reach, so I definitely did not leave it on the bathroom sink.  That's unsafe!

Shortly after this, I did not have to find where Emma's screams were coming from because I was right next to her...definitely NOT talking on the phone in the other room.

This is not becoming too confusing to tell in "not me" fashion, so I am not going to tell the rest of the story as it happened.  No way.  Not me.  I like a challenge and would never take the easy way out.

So Emma was standing on the step stool with the ibprofen bottle in her hand, screaming at the top of her lungs.  John was standing just inside the bathroom door with a semi-guilty look on his face.  He quickly explained what happened, and I'm pretty sure he's telling the truth since he's a bad liar.  Thankfully!  It turns out that Emma opened the medicine (so much for child-proof!), and John knew it was bad.  We often talk about how too much medicine will make you sick.  Since he knew it was bad, he dumped the rest of the medicine (half a bottle) down the sink.  Now I'd still wonder if Emma swallowed any, but she wasn't sticky and does tend to get extremely upset when John takes things from her.  So I'm thinking this is what really happened.  I'm glad John didn't let Emma drink the medicine, but now I need to add it to my shopping list.

Germs? NO WAY!

Are you feeling guilty for avoiding making a dentist appointment for just one more month because you hate going there so much? Hope that no one saw you pick your nose while you sat at the traffic light? Overcome with shame because, in your house, cleaning for guests just means shoving stuff into drawers and closets? Well don't be! Not Me! Monday was born out of MckMama's desire to admit some of her imperfections and reveal a few moments she'd rather forget. You may find it therapeutic to join in and do the same thing!

I did not take my kids to Cici's Pizza (a buffet) on Friday night to show support for Studebaker Elementary.  With all the illnesses going around, I would not subject my children to a restaurant full of kids touching the same serving utensils as us.  And even if I did go, I definitely would not keep a container of hand sanitizer in the middle of the table to be used every time we got a plate of food.  No way...that's going a bit overboard.

Not Me Monday #2

Here's my second attempt at a "not me" Monday post. It'll be shorter than the last one.

Friday on the way home from my cousin Doug's funeral in Grand Rapids, I did not stop at Target to buy a new DVD player for the van. Since John broke the other one, I would not even think of buying another. He doesn't deserve it if he can't take care of the other one.

And when we stopped, we did not buy the one with two screens that have the option of playing one DVD or two different ones. That would be completely unnecessary.

I did not make the decision for us to get a hotel in Walcott because I was concerned about the weather. And I did not find out after checking into the hotel room that the storms had already passed.

On the way home from lunch today, I did not give in to Emma's insistent "uh...uh" and pointing at the DVD player. I did not play a movie for her...or John...on the 10 minute drive home. Ridiculous.

Finally, I did not just finish posting pictures from the Fourth of July to my blog. You would not find those blogs by scrolling down or looking to the July blogs. It's July 26 (almost 27) for goodness sake. I'm not that far behind!

Not Me Monday

Okay, so I've read about "not me" Mondays on a few other blogs that I've come across and decided that after our camping experience in Kansas City last week, I needed to take a shot at it. (You can check out the founder of "not me" Mondays here.) Well, here we go...

Last week, I did not leave for Kansas City only two hours after another crazy Sunday morning. I did not go there for 3 days in a camper only a week before VBS. And I didn't go those three days without checking my e-mails, Facebook, or blogs. That's absurd!

On Tuesday, we went to Science City in Union Station downtown Kansas City. I did not go out in public with Emma's hair falling in front of her face because she needs a haircut. I did not let her win the battle of putting a ponytail in her hair. No way!

I did not forget to make John go to the bathroom before leaving the camper. And I DEFINITELY did not let him go in front of the truck in a parking garage. That's disgusting!

I did not watch my one-year-old daughter fall face first (leaving a bruise on her cheek) while I was trying to take a picture of her and John. Nope, not me.

I did not wait until 1:30 to feed my kids lunch because Science City was so fun. That's borderline child abuse!

For lunch, I did not feed Emma lunch even though the front of her shirt was messy with something mysterious and her breath smelled like vomit. I was not completely entranced by the train delivering meals from a track around the restaurant at Fritz's, and I did not almost miss Emma choking on a piece of cheeseburger. Couldn't be.

I did not pick Emma up out of the high chair to discover that she was completely soaking wet. And my shirt was not wet either. Surely we had not let her diaper go unchanged for the last 3 1/2 hours. Nope, not me. I did not leave the "back-up" outfit in the truck. I did not decide to leave my daughter in only her dirty, stinky tank top and diaper. That would make us look like white trash.

Emma fell asleep in the stroller with Scott pushing her around while John and I explored. Her pacifier did not fall out on the bridge where Scott took her to watch trains. I did not not discover the missing pacifier until 45 minutes later and decide to go searching for it. I did not decide to skip the laser show to find the pacifier. I did not pick it up off the middle of the train bridge. That's so unsanitary. I absolutely did not wash it off with soap and water...three times...and stick it back in Emma's mouth because I wanted her to fall back to sleep.

After leaving Science City and driving in rush hour traffic to visit our friends the Meyers, I did not let my daughter walk in their house with a bruised face in only a tank top and diaper even though they haven't seen her for a year.

I did not let my children get away with eating next to nothing for supper.

I did not hear John hit his head HARD on a doorknob and he did not only whimper a little bit. He did not instantly have a knot the size of my large knuckle on the side of his head. And I did not calmly hold ice to his head for a only a few minutes before letting him go play again.

I did not let my son stay awake playing A LOT and watching tv while the adults visited and played game. I did not head back for the camper at 1:30 AM on Wednesday.

I did not let Emma watch a Praise Baby DVD in our bed for an hour because she wouldn't sleep. I definitely didn't give her tylenol to help her sleep only to realize that she was probably crying because she was hungry (after eating next to nothing for supper). I did not crawl into bed and go to sleep at 4 AM after giving her a couple toys, sippy cup, and a snack container of mini nilla wafers in her pack n play. And SHE did not eat all but 6 of the cookies in bed. No way. Not me and not my kid!

On our journey back from KC, we did not stop 5+ times.

When we got back, I did not kiss my daughter and go back to unpacking the camper after she landed headfirst on the landscaping blocks, leaving a nice bruise on her forehead. Not me.

Okay, I think that's enough "not me"s for today. I hope to read about some things that you did not do soon. I hope this provided a good laugh for all of you.