Not Me Monday

Okay, so I've read about "not me" Mondays on a few other blogs that I've come across and decided that after our camping experience in Kansas City last week, I needed to take a shot at it. (You can check out the founder of "not me" Mondays here.) Well, here we go...

Last week, I did not leave for Kansas City only two hours after another crazy Sunday morning. I did not go there for 3 days in a camper only a week before VBS. And I didn't go those three days without checking my e-mails, Facebook, or blogs. That's absurd!

On Tuesday, we went to Science City in Union Station downtown Kansas City. I did not go out in public with Emma's hair falling in front of her face because she needs a haircut. I did not let her win the battle of putting a ponytail in her hair. No way!

I did not forget to make John go to the bathroom before leaving the camper. And I DEFINITELY did not let him go in front of the truck in a parking garage. That's disgusting!

I did not watch my one-year-old daughter fall face first (leaving a bruise on her cheek) while I was trying to take a picture of her and John. Nope, not me.

I did not wait until 1:30 to feed my kids lunch because Science City was so fun. That's borderline child abuse!

For lunch, I did not feed Emma lunch even though the front of her shirt was messy with something mysterious and her breath smelled like vomit. I was not completely entranced by the train delivering meals from a track around the restaurant at Fritz's, and I did not almost miss Emma choking on a piece of cheeseburger. Couldn't be.

I did not pick Emma up out of the high chair to discover that she was completely soaking wet. And my shirt was not wet either. Surely we had not let her diaper go unchanged for the last 3 1/2 hours. Nope, not me. I did not leave the "back-up" outfit in the truck. I did not decide to leave my daughter in only her dirty, stinky tank top and diaper. That would make us look like white trash.

Emma fell asleep in the stroller with Scott pushing her around while John and I explored. Her pacifier did not fall out on the bridge where Scott took her to watch trains. I did not not discover the missing pacifier until 45 minutes later and decide to go searching for it. I did not decide to skip the laser show to find the pacifier. I did not pick it up off the middle of the train bridge. That's so unsanitary. I absolutely did not wash it off with soap and water...three times...and stick it back in Emma's mouth because I wanted her to fall back to sleep.

After leaving Science City and driving in rush hour traffic to visit our friends the Meyers, I did not let my daughter walk in their house with a bruised face in only a tank top and diaper even though they haven't seen her for a year.

I did not let my children get away with eating next to nothing for supper.

I did not hear John hit his head HARD on a doorknob and he did not only whimper a little bit. He did not instantly have a knot the size of my large knuckle on the side of his head. And I did not calmly hold ice to his head for a only a few minutes before letting him go play again.

I did not let my son stay awake playing A LOT and watching tv while the adults visited and played game. I did not head back for the camper at 1:30 AM on Wednesday.

I did not let Emma watch a Praise Baby DVD in our bed for an hour because she wouldn't sleep. I definitely didn't give her tylenol to help her sleep only to realize that she was probably crying because she was hungry (after eating next to nothing for supper). I did not crawl into bed and go to sleep at 4 AM after giving her a couple toys, sippy cup, and a snack container of mini nilla wafers in her pack n play. And SHE did not eat all but 6 of the cookies in bed. No way. Not me and not my kid!

On our journey back from KC, we did not stop 5+ times.

When we got back, I did not kiss my daughter and go back to unpacking the camper after she landed headfirst on the landscaping blocks, leaving a nice bruise on her forehead. Not me.

Okay, I think that's enough "not me"s for today. I hope to read about some things that you did not do soon. I hope this provided a good laugh for all of you.